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Think you're a good listener? So does everyone else. But the numbers tell a different story.

Nearly 75% of professionals rate themselves as above average listeners. Yet when asked how often they feel truly heard at work, only 12.8% say “often.” That means we’re surrounded by people who believe they’re excellent listeners—while most of us feel ignored. The math doesn’t lie. The gap between how well we think we listen and how well we actually listen is massive. And that gap is quietly wrecking trust, morale, innovation, and results.

During my powerful conversation with global listening expert Oscar Trimboli, we explore the hidden habits that sabotage communication—and how mastering the overlooked skill of deep listening can transform the way you lead. If you want to inspire trust, unlock insights, and create teams that speak up and show up—this is where it starts.

Leading Yourself

Great leadership starts with the discipline of listening—not to reply, but to understand. When I took Oscar’s Listening Quiz, I was hit with a tough truth: I’m an interrupting listener. I value time and solutions, so I jump in fast. But that habit comes at a cost—lower trust, incomplete information, and missed nuance. As Oscar reminded me, deep listening is about tuning in not just to what is said, but how it’s said. The emotion, energy, and meaning behind the words often carry more insight than the words themselves.

Think about it: how many conversations do we speed through, never catching what’s actually being communicated? Becoming a better leader means becoming a better listener. Not perfect—just aware and intentional.

Action Steps

1. Take the Listening Quiz at listeningquiz.com to identify your personal “listening villain” and get 3 tailored strategies to improve.

2. Pause before you reply. One deep breath buys you time to process—not just react.

3. Listen for patterns in time and perspective. Are they talking about the past or future? Themselves or the group? Problems or solutions? These cues reveal mindset and motivation.

Leading Others

Poor listening isn't just a personal problem—it’s a leadership epidemic. Oscar shared a striking example: A pharmaceutical company was losing $1 million per failed batch due to a mysterious impurity. Experts missed it. Technology missed it. The answer? A frontline worker had reported a rusty pipe multiple times—no one listened. Once leaders finally did, the problem was solved. This isn’t rare. It's everywhere. Most workplace issues—from quality lapses to missed deadlines—stem from a failure to truly hear the people closest to the problem.

When your people know their voice matters, they step up. In my Special Forces days, the best ideas didn’t come from the top—they came from the team. Like the time a junior soldier came up with a simple purple smoke signal that changed how we coordinated during firefights. That insight saved lives. But it only surfaced because we built a culture where everyone felt safe to speak—and knew they’d be heard.

Action Steps

1. Use a backbrief to confirm understanding.
   After someone shares an idea, concern, or issue, don’t assume you got it right—reflect it back. Say, “Here’s what I heard…. What did I miss?” This not only clarifies communication but makes the other person feel deeply respected and understood.

2. Make space for voices on the edge.
   The quietest people in the room often have the most valuable insights. Invite their perspective intentionally: “[Name], what’s your take?” Over time, this builds a culture where people feel safe and empowered to speak up.

3. Reward candor and input publicly.
   When someone speaks up with a valuable insight—or even a concern—acknowledge it in front of others. This reinforces the behavior you want repeated and signals that listening is more than a checkbox—it’s a cultural value.

Becoming a No Limit Leader

Leadership isn’t about having the loudest voice. It’s about creating the space where the right voices can speak. Listening—real listening—isn’t passive. It’s one of the most active and powerful things you can do. When you learn to listen deeply, you’ll build trust, spark innovation, reduce errors, and unlock the full potential of your people.

So here’s your challenge: Practice deep listening this week. Pick one conversation and go all in—no distractions, no assumptions, just presence. Ask the follow-up. Notice the emotion. Honor the pause. You might just have your own purple smoke moment—the kind of insight that changes everything.

Because the greatest leaders aren’t the ones who speak the most—they’re the ones others trust enough to speak to.

UNLEASH LEADERSHIP, UNLOCK POTENTIAL

-Sean Patton

Ready to take your leadership to the next level? Let's connect if you’re looking for a dynamic speaker, personalized executive coaching, or group leadership training!

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